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I would like to put forward this scenario to the world. As we all seek to see the USA not get involved in so many wars what if tonight as they laid in bed Michelle Obama whispers in Barrack Obama’s ears “honey, it’s time we bring all the troops home.” I’m willing to wager that pretty soon American soldiers will be busy painting road signs rather than bombing anyone all because the true power of the world lies in the power women hold over men. From the first male to all of you currently reading this have in some way or the other has been influenced by the power that females hold over us.
Realistically speaking humans are a sexual driven species and as such much of what we are motivated to achieve is driven by the need to secure that special partner for life or in some cases for the night. We as males are exceptionally driven and motivated by the need for sex. Women seek education, a better body, a good job all to be better than the next lady. If a woman is single she will cry down a married woman because she is not as good as she is but some man got her. Much like a peacock parading around with his tail open many of us as men do some of everything to get a woman and some night time company. Fancy car, gym, good job and even education are all to impress and get that special lady or ladies as the case may be.
Our great-grandfathers travelled the length and breadth of this country by bus, bicycle and donkey cart for those special women in their lives. Some sat outside after these long journeys because the lady’s mother or father didn’t allow them inside the house. Adam existed all happily and peacefully in the Garden of Eden by himself till he got lonely and asked for company. He got what he wished for and then got kicked out over the things he did for love. David sent Bathsheba’s husband out to war for his chance at love. A few of you may be lost as to this story but details can be found here. Endless cases can be seen of the things men have done to make a woman happy.
Let any male fall short of providing a lady with the things she desire and the legs are crossed. Robbed of what they perceive as the nectar of life many males will forsake their entire salary to keep them happy. This is a power than many women know and understand and has seen some climb rapidly through socio-economic ranks. Many committed gentleman can come and go as they please happily once the lady of the house permits it. With all these facts it is clear to see that the power lies in who wears the pants, only thing it is who wears the pants suit.
The benefits women offer certainly motivate men (sex, companionship, children, etc.) but that motivation can lead to attempts to control women rather than cater to our needs and wants. Take a look at the extreme case of the Middle East: in Saudi Arabia women cannot drive and must have a male guardian. To a Saudi man, those laws are in part likely meant to protect what he values: sole access to his wife/future wife. But we don't have to look further than our own region to see attempts to control rather than woo. See http://www.stabroeknews.com/2011/news/breaking/03/30/domestic-violence-severe-in-barbados/ (stating "recent studies suggested that the Caribbean had among the highest reported rates of sexual assault in the world, with research conducted here indicating 30 per cent of adult women experience physical abuse in intimate relationships,"; stating "statistics from the Royal Barbados Police Force indicate [domestic violence] accounted for 21 per cent of murders between 2000 and 2007"). My point isn't that attempts to control women are the norm. Rather, I'm suggesting that a woman's power isn't inherent by virtue of her possessing a vagina. We can only exercise power where the existing mores and laws strongly deter attempts to control and men are sufficiently educated to understand that they can't truly force what they want from us nor should they. You Jamal, have likely figured that out and sadly, that means that women do in fact have power over you! Unless of course you also figured out all that you offer that we desire. In which case, the playing field is almost level.
ReplyDeleteSensibly put Kerri. A person has as much power over younas you allow them. If you don't care to smell what thrnRocknis cooking then he's probably not a star for you. Many people convince themselves that they cannot do without certain things. All this does is give the person who has control over those things control over them. Be it physical, material, emotional, even spiritual- we decide we can't live without certain things and we're prepared to wither and die if we can't have them. Now with respect to the statistics, I once had a professor who explained that, based on the statistical measure, a person should be perfectly comfortable if they stood with one foot in a pot of boiling water and the other in a vat of cracked ice. We all know that's BS but it probably would average out to lukewarm. Barbados keeps some of the best records in the Caribbean and our statistics usually cause us penalties. 21 % of murders would be a frightening statistic if we had almost 2000 a year like another place I wouldn't name at this time but I would bet that Barbados did not exceed 20 murders in any of those years. 20% of 20 is 4. Yes those would still be 4 too many but I'm sure you're getting my point. I'm not trying to excuse domestic violence; it is one of the things I truly abhor but which I think is shared in equal portions by men and women although most men would not admit it. And it is sad that it comes because members of each gender want to lay claim to body parts that they were not born with and to which they certainly have no right.
ReplyDeleteAny form of power can be misused or misinterpreted. Now I'm never going to justify or try to explain why some men beat women or take their lives when things go sour but what i am willing to put before you stems from something that I briefly touched in the blog.Men have a tendency of committing a lot of time and money to "woo" a lady. So some men may after they "invest" so much in a lady not be able to handle her not "appreciating" it in his views. Sadly also this possessive and abusive behavior is something that ends up being handed down across generations. In this blog I touched on the fact that even the males in same sex relationships are becoming increasingly violent since it is the role of the males.
ReplyDeleteAs for me I was lucky enough to be raised by my grannies and they instilled certain things in me so I wouldn't be any woman's fool. I've stuck close to those for the most part but love is a funny fellow and I will admit I've lost the battle for relationship equality before but now I'm older and wiser I hope.
As i man i know. And i blame the men.
ReplyDeleteIn any relationship, your partner has as much power as you give them. Men place too much emphasis on sex. And women know that most men foolish behind it and will use it to suit (whether consciously or subconsciously)
I personally believe that many see sex as something the woman doing something for the man instead of as a mutually beneficial act and if it is seen as the former, then the favor giver will always have the power.
Men need stronger spines and to realize that sex isnt worth dignity no matter how good it feels.
Check out Domestic Violence in Barbados report by CADRES. http://savefoundationbarbados.org/Documents/DVReport.pdf if interested in actual statistics.
ReplyDelete@Ms.Bovell's First Boy:), you're right, some men think they've somehow paid down on you. For some it's simply ego. They can't handle people laughing at them if their woman appears to be cheating. Others have learnt from witnessing domestic violence as children that it's how you handle relationship issues.
Re: relationship equality, like I said earlier, just remember what you bring to the table. You're smart, handsome and hopefully a caring/affectionate person. Be humble but remember those things. There's nothing wrong with being vulnerable with the right woman.
stereotypically speaking it's not manly for me to be vulnerable to anyone. I think this is another reason abuse exist. Unless you can be vulnerable and open around someone you are living a lie thinking you are in love in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind words and I will try hard to remember them