One Good Thing About Music

This was not the original topic of the blog I wanted to write today but as I was gathering my thought I came across the below picture on BBC and I am now totally confused and wondering if I can lie about my age to get away from this shame. Whilst looking at some photos on BBC I happen to stumble across a picture similar to this and it hit me that we will be remembered as the era that made Lady Gaga, Soulja Boy and numerous other singers of intellectually destructive drivel famous.

At the turn of the century music was at a high point in every genre for me. Miseducation of Lauryn Hill ended off the millennium and quickly after we had the emergence of the likes of Alicia Keys. Outkast, Ludacris and Marshall Mathers were tearing up the hip hop scene. Edwin Yearwood, Krosfyah, Square 1 and Rupee were flying the flag big for Bajan Soca worldwide. Beanie and Bounty were going at in the war for Dancehall supremacy. Fast forward a decade and what do we have now? Many of the same old artist are still making money on the charts but now we are faced with a proliferation of 808’s and catch phrases mixed in with some nauseating auto-tuned drivel.

If we take a trip back in time to our great-grandparent’s era or even our grandparent’s I can understand why they reproduced in such high volume. They had no Facebook, Twitter or Myspace to spend time on. The television shows were very selective but the final factor was the fact that the lyrics in the music were so smooth and nice that it made you want to cuddle by that kerosene oil lamp light and procreate. Sexual Healing from Marvin Gay is one example of such a song and the era was filled with these lyrically sound songs from the likes of Mr. Gaye, The Temptations, The Drifters etc. If a man stepped out of line women had several anthems in songs such as Hit The Road Jack or R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Now a days we have songs like Irreplaceable by Beyonce which sounds like Mapquest had a malfunction and is just repeating the same directions over and over again. Love songs are now down to the likes of Trey Songs who next to the old school geniuses couldn’t get the ocean moist.

It pains me to think that my children will someday google the number 1 hits from around this era and I will be left to explain why it was cool to “Superman a Ho” or why should ladies “back it up like a dumpa truck.” How will I ever explain why Paula left and why was Contone refusing to let her dress go? I pray that they never ask me to explain who was this being called Lady Gaga and why was she born this way. It seems that the only way I will escape this is by never letting them hear any music from this era because these are the lazy artist that will define us. Live bands are dead, singing talent replaced with auto-tune, lyrics replaced with a catchphrase barely audible over the loud bass in the beat.

Sadly when our children ask us to explain why they can’t be “pretty like a colouring book” it will be our faults as we are the ones happy to support the artist and not demand more for out money, or in some cases bandwidth. I’m just going to hope that I can expose my offspring to some “proper” music before they are exposed to the Gaga’s and Soulja boys of their time so that I do not have to watch them crank it or watch them roll

Explain this to your child
Or even this one
What the hell is this?