You May Be an Ass but I Still Like You

I am a hypocrite and so are you and I believe I can prove it. Before you read this I want you to take a few minutes to find a mirror and look at it. I’m not asking you to look at the surface reflection but try to see beneath the façade that the mercury can only show. When you have managed to do this I want you to consider if this person that you see is the person that all around you see as well. Will the lady you buy breakfast from give the same opinion as the guy who sits in the cubicle next to you? If you can answer this with a yes then you are in my opinion in what is becoming a minority on this little planet where undiagnosed schizophrenia is becoming the norm.

Sunday morning we wake up and head off to church. This is of course after taking a bath to wash the smell of the rum and pre-marital sex off us. While the pastor speaks we try to stay awake and focus as well as the hangover would let us. We then make our way home whilst singing along to Rick Dees and inserting the unedited lyrics of the songs. The same songs that encourage everything we just rebuked in church but that were making our previous night’s escapades all the more fun. Now everyone is not this extreme in their hypocrisy but it is a common enough occurrence.There is a cliché that goes I’d rather be friends with a thief than a liar and this is for a good reason I believe. If someone is a thief you know what they stand for and what to expect; with a liar you can never know what is true from what is false.

In this day and age the majority of humans are liars and much like how the taxi men in town switch accents on and off to attract tourist, we switch personalities on and off. As I type this I can hear someone in my background speaking of God’s will and his might and I’m stumped. This is someone who has shown us videos he took of women washing clothes naked in St. Vincent, someone who has been seen in night clubs repeatedly and someone who is an avid fan of Spartacus (which probably stands for everything unChristianly possible).

I’m not calling myself better than this person nor am I trying to Judge them for that’s the job of a higher power. What I’m disturbed about is how easily we all can be like that these days and yet still throw stones from the porches of our glasshouses. I am neither ignoring the fact that sometimes you must adjust your personality to suit certain settings and occasions. What I’m speaking about is being true to yourself and honest with all those around you. I may not personally believe in homosexuality but I would rather any person around me who is gay be open about it and not pretend to be in agreement with me when I make ungentlemanly comments about a lady and her leggings. I’d rather any friends of mine who may read my blogs come to me and say that I wrote nonsense than to encourage me just to be polite. I’d rather my government tells me I'm in for a rough time than to trick me and then hit me with a ton of new taxes.

Being true to you may scare people because we then worry about what others may think. To this in closing I will ask this question for you to consider: do you want friends who like you because of what you appear to be or do you want them to like you because of who you are? I can honestly say I know who most of my true friends are these days because they accept me for the opinionated, stubborn, asinine person I can be at times and I want to let them know I love them for accepting me.

No 1 Likes a Showoff

When it comes to love I would like to see myself as a diehard romantic. I do all the little cliché things that a man in love is supposed to do and then I add a little more zest and zing to the pot for some personalized flair. I’m always happy to see or hear about truelove and see people happy together. However, I thoroughly despise those couples who are nauseating with their affections. In the age of online “friendsing” where everyone and their grandmother is on Facebook, Twitter, Myspace and a thousand different ways to politely malicious in other people’s lives it is very easy for couples to become nauseating.

I’m sure we all know a nauseating couple. The type who live together but still pollute your online news feeds with random messages to each other professing how much they love each other, the type who must put up a status every ¼ of an hour reminding the world how much in love they are or how awesome their partner is, or the type that when you do see them in person the only time they aren’t attached to their significant other is when they go to use the washroom and they then spend this time telling you about how sweet wonderful their partners are. It’s those couples who no longer are individuals but rather “we” and “us.” It’s these couples who we are all secretly happy when their relationship fails.

Yes I said it and I know a lot of you are the same but are just ashamed to admit it. It’s simply the fact that just like in sports no one likes a showoff. I think it should be noted that for the most part that these couples are usually made up of one or both parties being average to ordinary looking and/or possessing insecurities. This then leads to them doing the one thing that is equally as bad as not putting in and that is putting in too much effort. Too far left will always take you right. So whilst the couples are happy to share their love and joy with the world it has a small tendency of being over bearing and alienating to all around, especially the single and lonely ones in the group.

Now I’m not saying not to show your love and affection but I’m asking you to be realistic and to know when and where because let’s face it you probably will get dumped or horn anyways due to your insecurities so don’t alienate those who have to support you when it goes south. Similarly some people may not have been as lucky as you to find someone so there is no need to remind them that they are lonely. Remember that no one likes a show off.

Thank you Granny

I’m starting a survey and appealing for your assistance in getting it passed as a law. It is my belief that we need to start doing 1 of 2 things. We either need to surgically prevent people from procreating unless they pass an I.Q. test or we need to start punishing parents for failing their children a tad bit more. Since the first method is sure to annoy Amnesty International, I suppose we are stuck with the second method.

I had the pleasure of being a granny’s boy. When I was younger I hated it because I had to be inside by the time the sun set. I also couldn’t dare to use certain words or speak in certain tones within ear shot of granny because of the consequences to follow. Up to this day I answer people yes please because failure to do so may have resulted in my face and her hands becoming friendly. If I was scolded at school I dare not report it to granny because you can be sure I was going to get double the punishment.

These days there are children of primary school age roaming the streets at hours I am still reluctant to at my age. These children also possess a vocabulary that could make the foulest of pirates drop their jaws in shock and awe. Furthermore if you are brave enough to enquire as to why they are out at such an hour they will happily tell you about their NC-17 interactions with your maternal relations. This relationship will be further highlighted should you seek to report this behavior to the parents of these delinquents. Teachers now shiver at the thought of punishing some children in fear of having the parents visit the school to exact revenge.

Now I’m not saying that a child who is kept inside at an appropriate time will turn out to be a moral pillar of society. I’m merely saying that in reality there must be better odds of these ones being more productive in society. I whole hearted admit that there are some Satan spawns that despite whatever a parent does seem destined to single-handedly bring about the apocalypse. What I am saying is a parent has a duty and responsibility to a child and plays a very key role in setting standards and guidelines for a child. When we go out into the world we will be faced with several influences both negative and positive. Should we really expose a child to negative both at home and at school?

I say when teachers notice problem children in the class they should report them to a special parenting board. If this board finds that the parents’ negative conduct is a definite factor then the parent should face the consequences. Harsh fines may be the only amnesty allowed treatment but I have a few others I’d like to see implemented. The fines can also be coupled with a good castration but we strive to stay in amnesty’s good books so that might not work out either.

Some boys will never be men

I’m at a point in my life where I am almost embarrassed to be a male. When we are children we act as children but when we become men we should depart from childish ways to paraphrase an old saying is s true and simple rule to live by. Yet age is but a number for reference purposes with a lot of males today. The cycle is destined to continue because a woman or a boy can never teach a male to be a man. As a boy you play with toys and as a man you take care of your priorities.

I was always taught that you don’t do the crime unless you can do the time. At my size I know I can’t handle prison so I won’t be doing anything close to illegal. The same should apply to other aspects of life. If you are “man” enough to partake in “man” activities then you should be man enough to take care of anything that comes out of them. A drive on the South Coast in the vicinity of the Court House in charge of the judging on Child Support cases and the large number of vehicles around it constantly is disturbing. The value of the car and its accessories is also disturbing as these gentlemen are frequently heard complaining about not being able to afford maintenance cost for their offspring.

Denying that the child is theirs because the mother is “easy” or refusing to give money for maintenance because they won’t be helping the “useless” mother or that the “worthless” woman going to spend it on herself are all excuses I’ve heard but let’s be honest with ourselves; she didn’t suddenly become easy, useless or worthless over night. She was the same way when you slept with her. So what makes her any different now? She was more than good enough for you to be involved in without protection so why has her stock’s value suddenly dropped?

The other popular excuse is the fact that you may already be paying child support for 1 or more other children from other females. Again I’m pretty sure that the other children didn’t all pop out at the same times even though I do know of some people who were in the same class as their half brother or sister. So you know you are in a position where your pockets are thinned already and you still go about engaging in the activities to make more? Even in the rare cases where you have more than 1 lady blooming at the same time you should be man enough to know you can’t go unprotected into both if any.

I’m not saying that the women are not to blame somewhat in these matters for they are just as guilty as the man in making bad selection choices regarding who shares your bed. Some women also use their children as a means of spiting estranged males in their lives. These females are a special case not touched in this blog.
In closing it’s quite simple, if you can be a man and can do the deed please be man enough to take care of the results of you planting your seed. When you do this what image are you giving to your sons and daughters of males? The child didn’t ask to be here.

Only Men know What True Love Is

Men are the only gender that feels true love. Women merely experience it. When a man loves a woman he honestly loves her. Women have the ability to love the idea of a man or what he stands for. Women are raised either consciously or sub-consciously to search for the Prince Charming/Knight in shining Armor type of love. This leads to many women being fooled to believe that they are in love and to even give up when they realize they aren’t. This is why only males are capable of feeling true love.

Even with all this convenient talk of equality the male is supposed to be the stronger and more dominant one. When a man finds love, true love not this television panties off on first date nonsense, he gives up being dominant. His dominance is a façade to the hiding of the fact that he is bending to the female’s whims and fancies or that his efforts are now to please her. Guy night becomes allowable when the lady approves of it, clothes she doesn’t like are thrown away, the house is decorated to suit her taste and the boxer drawer starts to have 3 ½ panties for every 1 boxer in it. Women gain a larger amount from “love.” They are wined and dined; all their wishes are catered to as males seek to win them over.

I’m not saying that women don’t give up any of themselves to be with a man but I dare say in love and romance that most women can be predicted. There seems to be some set guidelines or holy grail passed down from 1 female to the next for how to behave when you meet a nice gentleman. It outlines what makes a man a good man be it financially, physically or emotionally and how to treat them depending on category. In the event that you say to a lady that her significant other is ugly you are usually met by a he’s sweet or he treats me right (emotionally good); or he takes care of me (financially good). Tell a man his girl is ugly he’ll either ignore you, agree but reassert that he loves her or look to fight with you for attacking the love of his life. This is true even if he knows deep down inside that she resembles Roberts of the Christmas Song variety.

This can be seen even more so in when love hurts, some men seek to take lives. This is due to the fact that without this person he is now heartless and basically dead. When some women “love” a man and he hurts her she looks to damage his vehicle, hate on the new lady or slander his name. This is because she is losing her “good man” and it reflects badly on her self-esteem and self image so the outward projection makes her go after all the possessions he may value over her. The man loves the being whilst the ladies love the idea.

This is why I say men feel true love whilst women experience it. A man loves from the heart and is free from logic. Women even if their actions seem irrational are acting on theoretical concepts.

This 1 is For The Ladies

These economic times are hard and every little dollar we can save is essential. Ladies I am here to save you a lot of money, get your boyfriend to knag you less and save a heap of time getting ready for any outing. I will do this for you by allowing you to realize one simple fact that many of you already know but fail to admit. You are not dressing up for us most times, most times you are doing it for yourself and other females. All the mascara, all the time in the salon, all those extra sexy outfits are not for us as you claim; they are for you. I can hear the cursing bubbling up as you seek to rip a new one in me for such an arrogant and asinine comment but I can prove to you that I speak the truth and this will help you.

I’ve been lucky or unlucky depending on how you care to see it to grow up around a lot of women. I was the oldest male in the house from an early age and my mother was and still is the kind of lady who would probably be caught dead before she is caught out of style. I’m also in a position where a few of my closest friends are pageant contestants and winners. With these factors surrounding me I can honestly say that I notice more than most heterosexual males when it comes to females and how they dress. This is why I can honestly say that females only dress for females and use males as an excuse for this catfight and self-ego stroking.

Acrylic nails, elaborate hairstyle with or without weave, shoes that match a belt that matches a purse, a dress with subtle undertones are honestly wasted on us.Once a female is pretty she is by default pretty no matter what she wears. If your man has the ability to automatically notice that your nails have on palm trees as opposed to a rising sun then you may not have lost your favorite underwear in the washer. Similarly most males see in 32 bit the most as opposed to 128bit like most females. This means we have no idea what teal or salmon red or cayenne green really are. These are little intricacies that only females will notice these things on you.

In life more is not always better and honesty is always the best policy. I say this to say a guy would rather go to bed with average Jane and wake up with average Jane that to go to sleep with sexy Michelle and wake up with ordinary Melissa. How is this possible? When you wear makeup, a push up bra, a padded panty and high heels it is. Females go through all this self alteration and massacre and more times than not the prettiest lady in a party is the makeup free lady with a nice jeans and t-shirt on and her hair just hanging naturally, back in one or plaited neatly. When this lady receives attention and praise from the guys this hurts the females more as they cannot understand why after all their efforts would males chase after this plain Jane. Honesty is always best and with plain Jane we know what we are getting; not to mention we know we’ll be saving some money on maintenance fees.

It is females you will hear commenting on hairstyles, nail jobs, non matching accessories or lack of accessories. When a male says a lady looks good he is not considering that her purse doesn’t match her belt, they are generally saying that her face, her body or both are aesthetically pleasing. When a female says a lady looks bad it can be anything from aesthetics to the fact she is using 2B instead of 2A hair. So if you are really trying to look good for a male you should think like a male and not a female.

So in closing instead of spending all that money and time following fashions and doing what a magazine tells you is sexy and a way to attract a male just be yourself. Wear what suits you, find a hairstyle that works and you can do at home in quick time ad makeup is to accentuate not transform. You may attract a man who loves you for your entirety.

I'm Taking Way Somebody's Woman

I am here to announce that I will no longer be engaging in monogamy. In fact I will not be committing to any relationship what so ever. I am now going to be the official Joe Grind more commonly known as the “horner man.” For those of you confused by the vernacular the horner man is the male equivalent of the “side piece.” The “outside thing” is the ideal situation for this day and age and I will seek to become the best outside man in history.

When you are committed to someone you are “required” by the International Board of Appropriate Relationship Standards and Behaviours to spend some sort of cuddle time with your partner. Cuddle time includes any form of time together not having sex, time spent on the phone where your partner has at least 75% of your attention or for couples doing distance Skype or at the lowest level MSN conversations. In this sense the term Skype covers all webcam based conversations in their definition and can include those conversations where you speak and act to reach maximal physical fulfillment with the use of hands or battery operated devices. As the side piece these are not required. The Society of Horners and Side Pieces state clearly that no time can be requested outside of that given by the party with an inside partner. This means no calls asking why you haven’t been called or asking why you only hear them when sex is wanted. You are merely the substitute to make up for any short comings the starter may have.

Anyone who has ever lived alone will also relish one of the key perks of being a proud side piece. You get the fulfillment of the most basic of human needs and you still keep your personal space for yourself. There is no hair in the sink, no underwear hanging from anywhere, no snores or no one asking why you are walking around the house in your birthday suit unless that person is you. Similarly the provision of Side Piece Appreciation Money for fulfillment of services can be used to maintain your personal space. Those who prefer to be members of the Committed and Faithful Society have to put up with these inconveniences to your personal space. Any cash received usually means that services physical or otherwise can be demanded by the provider. As a side piece you are not tied to these restrictions.

Let’s face it in this day and age with studying or working who really has the time to sit and be considerate of another person’s every whim and fancy. The side piece role allows you to live your life as you see fit and yet at any point when the fire burns in the loins below to have that itch scratched and move on with your life. No worrying about if your partner is cool with where you are or who you are with because they have to worry about that from the inside partner.
However please note that there are certain risks to being the official side piece. Some side pieces have been found to forget the basic arrangement and seek to be a starter as opposed to a bench player. They then start demanding more playing time and may even seek to jeopardize the contractual arrangement between the inside piece and the owning franchise. Some members of Sneaking Out for Maximization of

Pleasures have also been found to have issues honouring the arrangement and start trying to treat the side piece as they would the inside piece and seeking to control their freedom. The final worry is that the starting player find out about the role players playing time and seek to end it in a physical manner.

If these scenarios can be avoided there is enough circumstantial evidence to show that without a doubt being a member of Horners and Side Pieces is the way to go. You receive physical and financial fulfillment with minimum mental or emotional output. Any ladies reading this who are willing to be my franchise holder are free to send CV and a picture to my inbox for review.

Disclaimer: The previous view is for purely entertainment purposes. It was inspired by the article in the news over the weekend.

Duck Tales...oooh oooh

If not for my lack of physical size I was about to embark on the largest crime spree this little island of ours has ever seen. Fortunately, for most I’m not about to have a man’s face in my lap as I plait inside cornrows on him, and so that little foray into the dark side of my mind was quickly abandoned. However, I will admit that I really want to be a modern day Robin Hood, robbing from the ungrateful, stupid and wasteful and giving to the needy who would appreciate it.

Top of my list are the school children who have never worked a day in their lives but as you read this are Tweeting from their Blackberry about how hard their lives are and how no one understands or appreciates them. You don’t work so you aren’t contributing any taxes to the economy, yet you have a cell phone that your parents gave to you along with your PS3, Laptop, flat screen television and wardrobe over flowing with clothes. Yet you have the audacity to complain about life being hard? Since I can’t steal from them legally I would like to take them out into the fields and have them pick enough cotton to pay for their phones and everything else in the room. This figure must be the amount after Sinckler is finished with the robbery we allow. After this if they have enough energy they can then tweet about their lives being hard they can feel free to.

Up next I wanted to take aim and low to no income earners who try to live like the “Joneses.” Making $250 a week, sometimes less, but in the Salon every two weeks for an $80 hairstyle -for the guys it’s only $20 for a haircut- so that they can attend $60 shows in $200 outfits whilst wearing $150 shoes. Now I’m not saying that they are not in their rights to indulge in these small pleasures, however what bugs me is when the ones who engage in these are on their Blackberry telling friends that the children home from school cause there was no money to send them, or that a utility is off in the house. All this takes place whilst the child is outside putting oil on the rims whilst daddy tries to find a way to keep the DirecTV dish from pulling the side of the house any further down. I honestly cannot think of a punishment befitting these people because no physical pain can cure downright stupidity.

The last of my first batch of people to relieve of cash would have been the likes of Leroy Parris. Now Mr. Parris is on my list because he is an ungrateful and inconsiderate person in my humble opinion. From all legal stand points he may be owed the other $6.5m he is suing Clico for. The very same Clico that has paid him $3.5m whilst smaller policy owners are left struggling and wondering what will happy to their life savings. The same company which as head paid him a ridiculous amount of money monthly. Yet at a time when the company whom he led has thousands of small policy owners wondering about their future a man who as the old folks would say “got out licking” has the balls to step forward and demand more money at this point. I would grant him his wish but under 1 condition, he be stripped bare and every policy owner be allowed to give him at least 1 lash for every policy they have in the company. This is only fair seeing that their lost policies are what helped to pay his ridiculous salary.

Little with content is great gain, however a fool and his money are soon parted. Every man has the right to spend his or her money however they see fit, but in these current economic times you can’t be tossing it around like you are Scrooge McDuck taking swim in his money bin. The only way forward is for us to be smart and help each other and not be like Mr. Parris. My proposed methods of solution may be outlandish and lack proper thought but in these times I humbly believe we need to take a look at the stock that is our lives and manage every aspect better.

What a Nice Personality

Good looks, good personality and intelligence are the 3 traits that we as humans can utilize to find a mate. Whilst having all 3 is a blessing it is a rarity. Most are blessed with high amounts of 2. Some are blessed with a high amount of 1 and an average to low amount of the others. Good looks and intelligence (not regurgitation but natural intelligence) are not tools that can be faked, unless of course some cosmetic surgery is involved. Personality for the most part is the one that you can make an effort, free of cost, to improve.

I once read a book called How to Dress For The World of Work, and the key point that always stood out to me was how it said to never have an off day because you never know who will see you. As humans we are always on show, always selling ourselves, always being scrutinized. It may be for anything from a job to a relationship, whether intimate or platonic. In each case we seek to highlight our finer attributes to come out as the best candidate for the available position. It’s with this logic in mind that ugly women who are unmannerly irk me to no end.

I know the first thing many of you will ask is what makes someone ugly and the whole beauty is in the eye of the beholder argument. Now that you’ve gotten that triviality out of your system let’s get down to the meat of the matter. No matter how nice you want to be or how politically correct we try to be we all know that there are some people who even if their hips would make you fall in love with a hipster, you don’t want to bump into them unannounced in a dark alley. Such an occurrence is likely to make your heart skip a beat or stop.

However, I am not condoning being rude in any form or fashion but in this materialistic and shallow world we live in we all know an unmannerly pretty lady will get some leverage that an ugly lady of similar disposition will not be given. Some ladies get by with a cute face only, whilst others get by with a nice body and an elite few are blessed with both. These are outside the exceptional ladies out there with both and the ability to make love to you mentally due to their high intellect.

The older folks constantly repeated to me growing up that manners maketh the man. I wasn’t sure what this meant till older and then I realize it made you as a complete person. Manners add a certain unknown sexiness to an individual. Average Jane can appear Halle’ish with an attractive personality. On the other hand an exceptionally good looking lady will be good looking whether she has manners or not. The difference is that males are, for the most part, unable to think rationally once met with a cute smile so we give numerous concessions to unmannerly females in an effort to get to know them in the biblical sense.

This leaves me to wonder why is it that if you are at a disadvantage in the aesthetic category why you would further hinder yourself by being ugly personality wise is beyond me. Are you bitter because you feel robbed genetically? As little children we are mean and savage beings, did childhood teasing scar you so much that you now look to take it out on the world by pushing your disfigured nose up into the air?

Manners make the man and woman. Smile, say good morning, please and thank you, it might help someone see pass your other flaws.

Prettiest people do the ugliest things

The affects of sexual and physical abuse are well known. They are tangible and visible and as such are the ones most spoken of. However, there is a 3rd form that I believe is just as or sometimes even more damaging. Mental and emotional abuse is what I speak of. A person’s self esteem can be the driving point in everything they do. When one feels good about themselves everything they do is met with an enthusiasm and zeal. If you break this down a person can become an empty shell. Depression is the most common characteristic seen when someone is driven to an emotionally low point.

“You are no use what so ever.” “What is your issue? Why can’t you get anything right?” “You just like your stinking father.” Imagine hearing all these things as a child from a parent or guardian? When you are growing you are developing opinions on yourself and everything associated with you and the world around you. To have these opinions drilled into you in the formative years can push a child to many different extremes. Imagine your home being a place where you feel as if you are less that a person whilst outside of your home your peers treat you as an equal or superior, it can be expected that it be the norm to drift to the position of comfort and good feelings. So the next time you drive past a block before you pass heavy judgment on the gentlemen there consider there may be more to it that just being idle.

Love is history’s most common weapon of mass destruction. For love families have been destroyed, countries lost and a lot of crack was sold to Bobby and Whitney. So imagine loving someone with the love that R. Kelly has for a minor. Every part of you tells you that this person is everything right in the world and in them you can find no wrong but inexplicably this person “loves” you. What if this being of perfection points out that you are incompetent or that you are incapable of being anything of worth if they are removed from the equation that is your life? We would all like to say that we would ignore them and move on but truthfully that terrorist known as Cupid and his arrows of bewitchment have the power to turn the most brilliant of persons into a child when it comes to matters of logic and romance. Having the ability to control how someone sees themselves give you the ability to control that person.

“I loved him, I can’t understand why he would kill himself” the mother cries. “She had everything anyone could ever want” those around her say. No one will remember them telling him they hate him for always using the last of something. No one remembers them asking her constantly why she doesn’t lose weight despite her efforts with diet and exercise. No one ever remembers telling him or her I wish you would just die and stop taking up space. These little things from the right person can become a cancer on the human psyche. Emotional abuse can also subjugate a person and allow they to be physically dominated or abused because they then don’t belief they are “worthy” of anything better.

I dare say that as some of you are reading this it hits a certain spot. It makes you stop and look in the mirror either because you know how it feels or you just realize the power of your words. What I can also say is say nice things to those around you because you may never know the importance someone places on your words. You may save a life by saying a simple thank you.

Mi Amor means My love

Yesterday we celebrated International Women’s Day and I can say I’ve been blessed to know some incredible and strong ladies. As I write this and look at my followers and think of some of the others who I know will read this I can honestly say I know some beautiful and intelligent ladies and wish nothing but the best for them.

However that is a topic for another day. Today’s topic will be the first in a series which will look at abuse. We all know the customary man beats woman type abuse and I’m not condoning it because one of the 1st things I learnt in Sunday school was that Eve came from the rib to be equal. I however want to look at abuse from the other angles which have been popping up in the news recently.

Yesterday amongst the observance the television and radio were plastered with PSAs about abuse against females and the pain caused by domestic violence. These ads brought my mind back to a conversion I had the day before with another nice lady when she asked me why I think that the paper reported of abuse in same sex relationships. As I thought about her question the only answer I could come up with was the need for a man in these relationships. Now I can see your confusion and wondering if I’ve finally gone fully crazy but I will seek to explain myself.

In these same sex relationships you notice one of them usually dresses like a lady and the other like a male. They then also start to display the characteristics of these genders. Males are thought to be the dominant physical gender. They are aggressive and somewhat controlling. When these parties engage in the mimicking of these roles they adopt these traits. I know struggle to find shirts/vest to fit me because my size seemingly matches the popular size of females who think they are boys. So whilst dressed like a male they become “aggressive” like a male. However as is usually the case when you try be something you are not you over play your role and aggressive male behavior kicks in.

Similarly studies show that despite the fact that some are “born” that way many females stop liking males-female interaction because they’ve had a bad experience with a man such as abuse or rape. These violent interactions become they reference point for interactions with males. When they engage in same sex relations it leads then to either act out this “aggression” or allow it to be shown on them. This then leads to the bad experiences raring its head in same sex relations and the bite can make your blood run when this aggression manifests itself.

This same sex violence speaks out to the larger violence in society. Why can’t 2 persons interact on equal terms? Why must 1 always be dominant and why must this dominance be in a physical way? Why do some people still believe that a good slap is required to keep others in line? Maybe I’m weird in that I’d rather take out my frustrations by playing sports or a more intimate 1 on 1 situation. Whatever the matter is, whether it is same sex or male female relations, we need to look into why it is happening.

Please note I know some men get beaten by their females but that is a story for another day

Death to Jim Screechie

As I approached this topic I really didn’t know what side to best tackle it from. I was not sure if I believed that it was dead or if there was hope. I had to take a look at myself and all of my friends to see if I can draw a conclusive answer from my life but still I came back inconclusive. I guess all that’s left for me to say is that monogamy may not be dead but it is quickly approaching the endangered species list. It’s either that or the pure fact that monogamy never really existed but is in fact an idealistic utopian state of mind.

They say that humans are animals, well mammals to be exact, and in the animal kingdom just how many animals are monogamous? Usually it is only the strong male who is allowed to lay with the females. This argument can hold merit except for one small issue: women are equally as promiscuous as males are. So usually while in nature it is the dominant male who is allowed to have several females, the females are all loyal to the dominant male, well loyal until a more dominant male arrives.

I’ve also heard the argument that there is an imbalance of males to females. I’ve heard anywhere from 3 to 5 female to every man. So it’s impossible and illogical to stay faithful to one lady when there are so many others vying for your attention. Research shows that this assessment holds as much merit as the DLP’s promises to lower the cost of living in Barbados. Worldwide the ration is like 1 male for every 1.05 female. So unless we are dating a female and a piece this argument makes less sense that Dennis Kellman when he gets going.

As a man I will say that it is easier for females to be monogamous. The reason has nothing to do with population demographics but mainly societal norms and pressures. From young we are face with the images from society, television and every hit song that a male with the ability to have many ladies is a male to be envied and looked upon with awe. Many believe this is an unshakable and backward doctrine handed down from before the times of Moses where much like the animal kingdom the rulers kept many concubines to tickle his fancies. Whatever the cause it is evident that from small despite it being “shunned”  upon by those of higher moral standings, the rewards and respect amongst peers of being a “gallist” is there.

This however covers only a small aspect of the “wutless” situation manifesting itself globally it seems. Which has led me to believe that one thing seeks to destroy the fundamentals of monogamy and that is pure simple greed.  All the fancy historical references and demographic breakdown are just fancy decorations to hide the fact that we as humans wutlessly just want, want, want. We can have the best significant other and we will find a flaw with him or her as a reason to “screech.” We will have a 75% perfect companion and instead of addressing the 25% and working it out or leaving we seek to find the 25% in another. Sometime we just wutlessly want things. We either want them cause another has them so we want to show we are better(consciously or subconsciously) or because we see them with it and we decide there must be something good in it for us too. Then at the bottom of the pile we malisciously are wutless want multiple partners because we are too small to handle the workload of having one. Despite the pomp and pageantry it is easier to run from hole to hole than make the most out of 1.

Biology 101

It seems that we are heading to a time where we will not only be giving our children lunch money but also latex money. The debate is raging on whether we should allow condoms in schools. Those for it are saying that the children are having sex anyways so let’s help cut down on the teen pregnancies and spread of STD’s. The nay-sayers are scared that we will be promoting sex from an early age and should instead be preaching abstinence. What does my mother’s first child say? I say parents need to step up to the plate a bit more on this.

I won’t pretend to be a living in a Utopia and claim that I don’t know that teens are having sex. Heck primary school children are starting to emulate what they are seeing on television or in mommy and/or daddy’s rooms. So the argument that we need to put condoms in the schools to cut down on the spread of diseases and the numbers of teenage pregnancies hold some merit. However, I personally think the old saying of “a monkey holding gun” holds weight here. Give an idiot access to condoms without proper education of how to use them, when they should use them or the fact that there are still some venereal diseases condoms can’t prevent; would be like skydiving and not safety checking the equipment before jumping out the plane.

To the ones saying that we would be promoting sex I say to them that yes you have a point. For I’m sure more than one of us in the teen exploration years thought about heading for home base but the lack of protection was a deterrent. So who knows if those slightly innocent 1 on 1 biology lessons would have led to a more in depth analysis of male female interactions in an empty class room with the right tools to facilitate.  Also despite the fact that a few are creative and brazen enough to pull off the full acts with the restrictions of uniforms, funny shaped desk or small unhygienic rooms most sex amongst teens doesn’t occur at the actual school.

We’ve heard reports of school girls going into Queen’s Park and changing uniforms. I, as an athletics coach witnessed a parent drop off their ward at the front gate of the stadium and she hurriedly walk to the gate by the netball stadium and be carted off by a waiting vehicle. Unsupervised summers at home alone, picnics, trips to town, visits to the best friend’s house are the more popular ones I’ve heard and witnessed in my short tenure on this earth as means of having some grown folk excitement in your life. Unfortunately it’s these “innocent” getaways that lead to the most trouble. I just want to put it in and see how it feels; it doesn’t feel the same with a condom; you’re the only one I’ve ever been with; you can’t catch anything unless you cum; are all excuses that we sit and laugh at now but I’m sure we’ve all heard them or heard of someone who used or fell for them.

This is why I say instead of considering condoms in schools that parents need to play a bigger part in the child’s life. Instill the values that would help them to abstain. Talk to them so that if they choose not to abstain they know it’s not a free for all with their pubic areas and that nothing should occur without protection. Leaving the television with its sex sell undertones and straight up sex at every corner to babysit and raise the children must stop. Allowing Kartel to have more sexually conversations with your child must also stop. Carrying on adult conversations and acting in promiscuous ways around your children must stop. This way with the parents and schools working together for the education and benefit of the child we can hope that when face with the inevitable scenarios that pop up they make the best decisions.

Oistins Fish Festival

 It was like I was watching Nightmare on Elm Street, Child’s Play or Friday 13^th. This time however it was real and much more terrifying. Like Freddie, Chucky and Jason this horror has plagued us for many generations and refuses to ever go away. However the thought of going to sleep and/or waking to this terror paralyses me more. The terror which shall simply be known as “the fry fish technique.”

For as long as I can remember there has been nothing as aesthetically disgusting as seeing powder around the neck and bosom area; except powder around the necks and bosom  and Vaseline on the lips which make them shine like cooking oil was used instead of lip gloss. It appears to disgust and then as quickly as it pops up it disappears and then it reappears again. The main culprits of this terrifying act are young females.

Historically it is alleged that this is a technique used by the prostitutes to keep themselves fresh for the next customer. The powder showed (or gave the image) that a clean product that had just been washed.  Yet young ladies for generations have mimicked this technique used by those ladies who we frown upon. Maybe I use the word ladies too freely in this context, for it has been my observation that those who use the fry fish technique of staying fresh may exhibit behavior ladies of the night would be ashamed to display.

Could this then be the reason? Do they wear the powder to signal future professional intent? Is the neck and bosom the only powdered areas? What about unseen spots? All these questions are running through my head. If I can find the cause then maybe I can dispel this vile beast from future generations.