Things Brown in soca prison

I would like to start a musical prison for those who continually destroy our ears and airwaves with trifling contributions to society they callmusic. It’s July so that means that Crop Over is in full swing . The climax is in just over 2 weeks and music is in quite abundance. With so much music in circulation there are some good, some bad and some Captain Sawyers that are so bad they go beyond description. With this plethora of music one eternal question keeps coming to mind? How does Ramases Brown and the like get so much work? There are artist such as Bobo who are lyrical geniuses and have more respect than a Ramases Brown amongst the general public but yet Ramases is at every fete, show and now party monarch. He is the first inmate I want to lock away in Soca Prison.

I’m a soca fan and this time of the year is immensely fun for me. I get an excuse to behave like a little boy in a toy store and no one cares. This juvenile debauchery is fueled by the music. Music that is known to make you have to tap your feet, know your head and in local vernacular “pelt waist like I mad.” No matter what even I go to with Mr. Brown performing I find myself driven to do two things when his set starts: either go to the bathroom or go to the bar to help numb the pain of his music.

The man has been responsible for such atrocious nursery rhymes as Operator, All Circuits Busy and Stamina but yet he keeps coming back every year. worse yet promoters keep bring him to shows every year. Someone asked if this is because he works for a sponsoring company and wonders if they are so drunk that they push for him to be at shows. To make matters worse he aligned himself with 2 even less talented individuals in Styles P and Malcolm X meaning we get a triple threat of ear ache. There are those who would state that “ramases is a good writer, look what he did for Alison Hinds?” to you I say that he needs to stop giving away the good stuff then. I dare you to find 10 people who like Ramases’s music. If you can I show you 10 people never to trust.

Some people try to be nice and say that Ramases is better than a Contone or a Pong. I say this is untrue. Contone and Pong know they are humourous and they set about to sing “entertaining music.” This Saturday I have the displeasure of interacting with Mr. Browne and realized that the man actually thinks his tunes are world class. Next thing we’ll be hearing about a Ramases Brown in concert or a Greatest hit compilation. That’s sure to sell at least 4 copies.

I originally wanted to sentence him to death but his writing contributions have brought some leniency. I would instead like him to spend life in Soca Prison with no possibility of seeing a microphone again. All in favor say “I”