Facebook Giving Soldiers The Blues

The husband rolls over and sucks his teeth violently because he cannot believe that his once loving wife gave up on the opportunity for a night of consummation to feed her ever growing addiction. In a matter of minutes the affect of the horny goat weed and lil blue pill would be gone and his soldier would be as dead as how his sex life had become when his wife became a victim of the relationship crippling drug known as social networking. Maybe he should have tweeted to his wife that the drugs were fading but he doubts that she would have left Facebook to come romp with him seeing as though Farmville required her to harvest her crops.

In the past the major worry in the work and personal worlds were the affects of addiction to illegal drugs or maybe gambling to relationships on the professional and personal scale. Now the major vampire that is sucking the life out of it is the plague known as Social Networking. Instead of working at their desk employers have to worry about who is checking out pictures from the latest fetes. Husbands and wives have to worry about who is giving virtual pokes to their significant others as these virtual pokes can lead to physical poking. Wieners run rampant and erect in this environment it seems.

Partying has been transformed due to the vicious social networking scourge. People cannot leave home without first posing to take a picture and post it to Facebook as they pull off from in front their homes whilst tweeting “off to the club to get shankle.” Females must take the token bathroom shots and males must pose with Corky-esque finger signs and drink in hands. You are no longer free to place a female in a 6:30 like daggering pose or risk having it posted on the Internet before the second “juck” has been delivered. Courts, Digicel and Lime are struggling to keep up with the demands for smart phones to feed the hunger to stay in touch with tweets and Facebook postings.

As I finish type these lines I have plans to send a link to my Facebook and to tweet for my followers to see the link. However I’m a level 2 or 3 social network addict so I will not let my soldier rise for a task and then send him back to sleep singing the blues. When you spend too much time farming or tweeting someone else may be raising a cock on your watch and finishing what Weiner started.