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I am writing this letter to apply for the post of Speech Writer under your current DLP administration. I’ve won a few creative writing awards in my days and from all accounts this loans me to your style of politics. I’ve been following the political situation in the country closely and I think I can be of service. The finance minister by his own accord has no time for replies to attention seeking members of the other party. Even if these topics relate to our country’s situation. The Prime Minister is not a man of many words, unless overused and inappropriately big words, and also by his own words cannot be called out to speak willy nilly as he’s a busy man. I however do have time on my hands.
From following the speeches and talks I have realized the style of the higher powers of your administration. There are two distinct speaking styles and despite my lack of economic background other than a first year university economics course, I am positive I can emulate and even improve on the delivery of the messages you produce for public consumption. I am very familiar with the use of green verbs and can talk down and insult anyone I may need to. I also boast an extensive vocabulary which I am dying to endlessly use to confuse people.
Whether I am required to procrastinate on the delivery of poignant and pertinent points by using a proliferation of multi-syllable words to hide information of misguide the public, or if whether I’m to berate and insult someone to hide my errors, I believe I am the man for the job. I will be sure to place several typos in the speeches to provide a safety loop. The misuse of decimal placings when I’m speaking about percentages will be highly used. I will also be sure to use terms that allow me to backtrack on promises and other plans.
In addition to this I am a great party planner and can make sure that for the next election we can once more win the battle of the uneducated masses by holding the best parties. I also have a slight financial background so I can help make sure the budget is in place for handouts and voter appreciation gifts.
I thank you for any opportunity to help fool and misguide the general public and to be a nuisance to the intellectual capacity of any reasonable thinking citizen. I am more than ready to do my part to continue to do nothing whilst sounding the part of an intellectual. Please find my contact information attached.
Them now Them again
