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Disclaimer: I am not involved with a lady who fits any of these descriptions
It’s the season of gift giving and one of my regular readers has asked me to clear up some gift giving queries:
1) Does length of time dating determine a. gift and b. type/amount?
2) Does the extra-marital partner get a gift?
3) Does the “it’s not the gift but the thought” line actually hold true?
These are all very tricky questions to answer and can be summed up by saying it all depends on the persons involved. When it comes to some women and relationships what she opens under the tree may determine what she opens under the sheets.
There are those amongst us who treat relationships like a job. You give to get. You give intimacy, time, food, money etc in return for those same items. These people treat birthdays and Christmas like they’ve just been awarded a year end company bonus. As with bonus there are some employees who may not have been with the company long enough to have passed the probationary period but to exempt these from getting a gift might offend some and others it might not offend. However to give a bonus to these employees is tricky because then you must determine how much is an adequate amount. A bad end of year bonus can make people also look for other employment because they feel unappreciated or want better rewards plans.
Now there are also some people who treat their relationships like a ball team and have starters and bench players. The error some make is they get the roles mixed up and give the bench more playing time than starters. If you give a role player more playing time and a higher salary/playing bonus they will start to think they are starters/stars. Bench players should only receive bonuses if it is to keep them on the team. The gift of me allowing you to back up my star should be enough for you.
Now the last thing we have to touch is the whole “it’s not the gift but the thought” misconception. “What a lady opens under the tree determines what she opens under the sheets.” Give a cheap thought and it may become easier to break into Fort Knox that it is to get into her underwear. In fact NO ONE likes a cheap gift unless they know the person is a broke student or an unemployed parent.
Gift giving is all about the giver, the receiver and the amount. So give the wrong person a cheap gift and you’ll be spending all the alone time with porn sites and a handful of yourself.
